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We’re in the interviews portion of our Daring Greatly mini series! Hooray!! Our very own co-host, Faren, leads from the front and opens up about miscarriage. In episode 36, Faren dives deep into her story of miscarriage and ties it together to the bigger picture of God’s story.
Vulnerability Hangover Hacks
What is vulnerability hangover? This is when you open up and share a piece of you in some way, and then after, you feel hungover from the experience (anxious, gross, regretful, etc..). See some PRO TIPS below on how to combat vulnerability hangover!
- Have a plan in place! self-care, hug a loved one, etc…
- Practice appropriate vulnerability! When used properly, you can become braver
- Find positives from the experience: God works all things for good
- Think bigger than yourself: tie it to a greater purpose
- Friends are good therapy: have a safe place ready
Faren walks us through what the phone call to the doctor is like when a miscarriage happens. Please join us on our episode to hear the full details.
Advice for friends
Faren goes into detail on what worked for her, in her experiences, in that phase of life. This worked for her, but may not work for everyone. What is important is that you have those vulnerable conversations and do your best to be as clear as possible with how your loved ones can help.
- empathize
- sit shiva
- be in their corner
- go to dinner
- bring them dinner
- praying
- telling them you love them
- ask wiser counsel about how to support them
Think about what typically helps that person when they are stressed or sad. Do those things! If you can take a chore off their plate, do it! The waves of emotion can be overwhelming and can come unexpectedly, so being able to help with the minor tasks will be greatly appreciated.
Reflect on the big picture
Tragedy can be overwhelming, but when we can start thinking about the big picture, some peace can follow. Being vulnerable and sharing our stories can do a load of good, not only for ourselves, but for others. Remember to exercise healthy vulnerability and healthy boundaries when you feel led to share.
Everything we experience on Earth serves a great purpose. All of us play a role in God’s love story for us. So many benefits came from Faren just sharing her story. Think about the following and how your being vulnerable can have a positive impact on yourself and others. In Faren’s experience:
- opening up about her story has helped others
- having vulnerable talks with her doctor lead to positive outcomes
- prayer for herself and others developed a stronger relationship with God
- staying in community kept her feeling comforted & more positive
- recognizing that “moving forward” is NOT forgetting…it’s being in an upward trajectory and not staying stuck
PRO TIP: Grieving looks different to everyone. The tragedy may stay on your mind during waking hours and while you dream. It can be hard to shut off, so pray your heart out and surround yourself with your village. Community matters.
PRO TIP: As a human, we have the capability to hold multiple emotions at the same time. We can be mourning and still find joy. We can miss someone and still enjoy the moment. This takes deliberate practice and repetition.
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