In episode 115, “Don’t Focus on Things You Can’t Control”, we discuss practical tips on how to let go of being a perfectionist and trying to control everything. Training yourself and others to release what should not be held onto so tightly will help you become more mentally tough. We continue our book study mini series over Amy Morin’s 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. Learn how to take back your power, embrace change, face your fears, and train your brain for happiness and success.
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Negative Consequences of Being a Control Freak
We are all guilty of this in certain pockets of life. It could be your job, your kids, or your workout routine, and we’ve got to find a healthy balance. You may have not been directly called a control freak, but you could have areas in your life where you don’t want to release that control.
There are many reasons we want to have control over certain aspects of life. Here are some signs that you may need to work on holding things more loosely:
- struggle delegating when you should
- have unnecessary stress
- dislike teamwork or group projects
- invest energy in wishing others would change
- feel solely responsible for outcomes
- struggle to let go of past mishaps
- give up mental space holding grudges
- losing your temper easily
The list goes on, and you can come up with more examples that fit your current life phase. We go over several examples in episode 115, so be sure to scroll back up to the top and tune into the episode while you read these show notes. Keeping too tight of leash on aspects of life will increase your anxiety, waste your time and energy, and damage relationships. Again, we go over the effects of this in the show. Continue reading to see how you can fix this for the better.
How to Let Go of Control
We all have our reasons for why we want to control certain pockets of life. The important thing is to find a healthy balance and realizing that we can’t control as much as we think we can. We can control our actions and reactions. Staying mentally strong through life is the way you’ll be able to better respond in life’s situations.
Many times we buy into half-truths like, “If I can have control of my kid’s academics, they’ll make all As in school.”, or “If I do this project on my own, I’ll be promoted.” We know through experience, this isn’t true. Yes, working hard and doing your best will certainly help you, but that is no guarantee of anything. We simply cannot control everything. Don’t focus on things you can’t control. What are you needing to let go of?
Other Helpful Tips
As believers, we know God’s plan is greater than ours. Make sure you’re tuning into the Holy Spirit for guidance, especially if you feel like you need to let go of some of that control (that you falsely have a hold of). Don’t focus on things you can’t control. Here are some helpful tips to help you grow:
- ask God to reveal where you need to release control
- know God’s plan is better than any plan we could create
- realize you don’t know all the moving parts to situations
- quit believing half truths you have been telling yourself
In episode 115, we go over some troubleshooting and what to do if you know that you’re likely to lose your temper, believe a lie, to fall into the control freak category. Here’s a verse we touch on that great life advice:
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
James 1:19
There are so many benefits that come with letting go of tings we can’t control and focusing on how we can only control our actions and reactions.
- better relationships
- new opportunities
- embracing teamwork
- experiencing success
The list goes on. Remember, we can’t do it all on our own. Being humble enough to admit that and ask for help when needed, or delegating when appropriate is a great skill set to have. Keep working hard on growing this. It’s takes time, but it’s definitely worth it.
We hope you enjoyed “Don’t Focus on Things You Can’t Control”, and that you have practical, actionable steps you can take. Be sure to check out this entire 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do mini series (13 Things mini series) about a simple & proven way to become more mentally tough. You can do this! We’re here to help. Click the affiliate image below to get your copy of Amy Morin’s book.
Links From the Show
- Witty & Gritty Patreon
- Book: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do (affiliate)
- Grit Mini Series (episodes 19-25)
- Everything is Figureoutable Mini Series (episodes 40-51)
- Switch On Your Brain Mini Series (episodes 55-62)
- Atomic Habits Mini Series (episodes 102-111)
- Episode 24: Keith’s interview on how to raise gritty kids
- Episode 60: Kelly Smith & Behavior Change
- Parenting with Love & Logic (book affiliate link)
