In episode 157, “Become a Better Listener”, we discuss how listening longer and more intently can further relationships. Learn how to become a better listener while knowing where to go when you need to be heard as well. We begin our book study mini series over Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age” in episode 151. Learn how to develop the soft skills needed to have a positive impact, lead others well, and help point others to Christ.
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Heard & Understood
Humans are uniquely designed with specific needs. The need to feel loved (Hey, Jesus), heard, and understood. God certainly has the capacity to complete us on these points (and more), but He as also designed us to be able to find these connections with other humans too. This episode specifically focuses on connecting with others and to become a better listener for those people in your life.
In Dale Carnegie’s book, it’s quoted, “The power of listening is the power to change hearts and minds, more consequentially, it’s giving the people what they desire, to be heard and understood.” As we know, we are innately engrained with those desires. The Bible says listening intentionally to others is key:
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
James 1:19
Quick to hear, meaning that needs to be our first step. Not but in, not build a rebuttal in our head while the other person is talking, but truly listen with the intent of helping them feel heard and understood. It goes without say, but we’ll say it anyway; being a good listener builds trust.
Effective Listening
Helping others feel heard and understood must also come along with effective listening skills. If we half listen, or don’t have any intent on helping the other person in some way, that does not reflect what God would do. When we talk to God (pray), He is actively listening, truly cares, and can fully empathize with what we’re communicating.
Our goal as Christians is to become more Christlike every day. This takes great effort, but one simple way to do this is just listen to what the other person is saying. We go over several tactics and scenarios in our episode, “Become a Better Listener”, so be sure to scroll back up and press play to hear all the details and tips.
Learning how to become a better listener all circles back to positive relationships. Here are some quick tips to help you grow this skill.
- have deeper conversations rather than transactional or custodial
- focus on being a good sounding board for friends
- seek out wise counsel who can give honest, loving feedback
- deliberately practice the skill set of intently listening
- empathize as much as you can, stretch this skill
- lead with open ended questions
In this podcast episode, we give examples, details, and even lines you can use to grow each of these points in the soft skill of listening better. Tune into the episode (scroll up, press play), or even send this episode to a friend and discuss. You can practice by using this episode!
Community Support
We are designed ot live in community. The devil likes it when we feel alone and cut off, so being in a great community will help you and others process through life. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Who are the people you confide in?
- Do they have the same spiritual beliefs?
- What topics are you discussing?
- Is that growing your relationship with God?
There are seasons in which there are time counseling is appropriate. Is the home group you’re in wise enough to know when that time has come? At Witty & Gritty, we strongly believe that everyone can benefit from counseling. Make sure your pride doesn’t get in the way of you seeking out a counselor.
Action Steps: These will help you get moving in the right direction if you have no idea where to start, but you would like to work on your listening skills. Ask 15 additional questions a day> Make sure you’re asking better questions like we talk about in this podcast episode. Try asking at least 5 deeper questions a day to each of the following groups of people:
- coworkers, or causal interactions
- in your digital space
- personal (home group, household, etc…)
Make your questions meaningful, beneficial, and positive. You can even have some fun with it! Again, we go over several examples in the episode, so be sure to scroll up and press play.
We hope you enjoyed episode 157, “Become a Better Listener” and that you have practical, actionable steps you can take. Be sure to check out this entire How to Win Friends mini series about how to have a positive impact, lead others well, and help point others to Christ. You can do this! We’re here to help. Click the affiliate image below to get your copy of Dale Carnegies’ book.
Links From the Show
- How to Win Friends Mini Series
- How to Win Friends Book
- 21 Kicks Journals
- Betty the Lawyer, Episode 23
- Kelly Smith, Episode 60
- Get Out of Your Head Mini Series, Episodes 84-91
- Love Language Mini Series, Episodes 141-150
- I Am Rahab book, Autumn Miles
- Tara-Leigh Cobble, Episode 80
- The Daily Audio Bible
- Move Mountains Literacy
- Dream Big Mini Series, Episode 92-100
