We continue the mini series on “The Path Between Us” by Suzanne Stabile. In episode 69, “Enneagram and Fair Fighting”, we discuss how each Enneagram number can leverage elements of quality conflict resolution into their relationships. We’ll give you practical, actionable tips and tactics to use to grow your connections.
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Conflict is inevitable. Fair Fighting Formula strategies must be set in place in order to maximize healthy growth in every relationship. Whether it’s your spouse, coworker, or friend, having the Witty & Gritty BDAs involved is a guarantee to happier, healthier relationships.
The Witty & Gritty BDAs of Fair Fighting are simple, easy to implement strategies to help propel your relationships forward. Click HERE for more BDA info plus a FREEBIE!
Before (BDAs)
There are tactics to implement before an argument occurs. Since fights are inevitable, preparing ahead of time will save you time and possible heartache. Here are why the following Enneagram numbers will highly benefit from this step:
- 1s & 6s: Both really appreciate the planning ahead aspect and having processes set in place.
- 5s: They don’t like surprises, so knowing that they’ll have the before boundaries set in place plus the think time will help them greatly.
- 9s: They dislike conflict, so creating a safe space and good boundaries will be vital to getting the most out of this number.
- 3s: When implementing the before tactics, 3s will have better odds of staying in the conversation and hearing what the other party has to say.
During (BDAs)
When implemented correctly, having the during strategies of the BDAs will help all parties involved keep their word, stay focused, and lean into the conversation that is needing to happen.
- 8s: They can handle the heat of the moment and feel connected to the other person when conflict arises. They’ll be most productive in this portion of Fair Fighting.
- 2s: They process and think out loud. They are experts at seeing needs in others, and they desire to help meet those needs. You will be heard when using the Witty & Gritty Fair Fighting Formula with 2s.
- 4s: They are great at feeling their feelings, so they need to look outside themselves to hear the other person.
After (BDAs)
The after strategy of the BDAs the troubleshooting portion of fair fighting. This is the circle back/recap that takes place. When implemented correctly, it’s open, honest, and highly productive.
- 3s: They are future oriented and are ready to step up and press on with the “most likely to succeed” path.
- 8s: Present 8s with facts about how best to move forward, especially since they’re quick to move on after conflict.
- 7s: They’re already wanting to find the good and move past the conflict. They’ll be able to find the positive and what went well.
- 9s: Thriving in this space, 9s feel like they can openly share without the stress of the conflict.
- 6s: Ready to go back to the drawing board, they can problem solve and be forward thinking.
- 5s: This gives 5s the “think time” to process and find the words they want to use to discuss how they’re feeling and how improvement can happen.
Thanks for listening to episode 69, “Enneagram and Fair Fighting.” The BDAs of Fair Fighting have been game changers for our lives, and we want to share the roadmap with you! Click the button below to learn more about the BDAs and The 5 Rules of Fair Fighting.
