In episode 145, “How Acts of Service Shows Love”, we talk about how doing things for the people you love will strengthen your relationships. Jesus Christ is the greatest example of servant leadership, and we provide ways to reflect that in everyday life. We begin our book study mini series over Gary Chapman’s, The 5 Love Languages in episode 141. Learn how to strengthen all of your relationships (not just with your significant other) with the secret to love that lasts.
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Love Language: Acts of Service
Acts of service consists of doing things for others. This can mean running an errand, completing a task, or doing a favor for someone. You may enjoy doing any given act of service, or you may not. The point is the why behind your action. If we’re trying to model what Jesus did for us, then servant leadership should always be a focus of ours when going through life. If you’re wondering how acts of service shows love, you’re in the right place!
“So if I, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example, so that you also would do just as I did for you.”
John 13:14-15
Doing acts of service for others not only shows them love, but it an be humbling as well. In this episode, we get into how to communicate your needs and what to do if you don’t see eye to eye with the person you want to love in this way. Remember that when it comes to spouses, roles have certainly changed over the years. Don’t get caught up in certain duties “just because that’s how it’s been done.” Talk about it, and learn how to love well and serve well.
“There are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse.”
Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages
When it’s not your Love Language
The odds are slim of having the exact same love language and dialect as your spouse. So instead of getting caught up in that fact, make sure you have a proactive approach. In episode 145, hear how acts of service shows love in a variety of ways. Brooke and Faren dive in on how neither of them are naturally drawn to acts of service, so it takes a lot of communication and effort to make sure their spouses feel loved.
Pro Tip: Feelings can be liars. You may despise cleaning as a way to show your spouse love, but if that’s their love language and dialect, it would be silly to pass up that opportunity to love them well. When it comes to choosing love, actions can precede feelings. Make sure your head and heart are in check and always tie it back to being a servant leader showing love.
Pro Tip: Clear, consistent communication is key. Be specific in your requests, and ask about how to go about completing certain tasks. Friendly reminder that some people don’t like honey do lists; they just need to know how you’d prefer things prioritized.
Bumps in the Road
We know that it will never be perfect, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying. There will be seasons in life that are more challenging, so grace will need to be extended. It’s helpful to think about your goals as a couple. Everyone wants to enjoy their relationships and love each other well. Keeping communication open, honest, and kind will grow your relationships further.
Remember that utilizing the wisdom of love languages does not mean manipulating or guilting someone into doing something or being something. In the episode, we give many examples of how acts of service shows love, so be sure to scroll back up and press play. Here are some questions you can think about or even ask your spouse about:
- What do they do that makes you feel loved?
- What (in general) makes you feel loved?
- How do you know they love you?
- Can you name a couple of ways they actively show love?
Friendly reminder that what you do before marriage (the dating phase) is no indication of what will happen when you’re actually married. Life looks differently as you age. There are seasons of drought and flourishing. Each phase of life presents new challenges. Making it a goal to out serve one another through acts of service will be a way you can love someone well.
We hope you enjoyed episode 145, “How Acts of Service Shows Love” and that you have practical, actionable steps you can take. Be sure to check out this entire 5 Love Languages mini series about how to strengthen all of your relationships (not just your significant other) with the keys to love that lasts. You can do this! We’re here to help. Click the affiliate image below to get your copy of Gary Chapman’s book.
Links From the Show
- The 5 Love Languages (book)
- The 5 Love Languages Mini Series
- 21 Kicks Journals
- Enneagram Subtypes (8,9,1)
- Enneagram Subtypes (2,3,4)
- Enneagram Subtypes (5,6,7)
- Daring Greatly Mini Series
5 Love Languages Resources
- The 5 Love Languages (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Children (book)
- The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers (book)
- The 5 Love Languages for Men (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Military (book)
- The 5 Appreciation Languages of the Workplace (book)
- The 5 Love Languages, Small Group book study
- A Teen’s Guide to The 5 Love Languages
