In episode 167, “How to Teach Through Failure”, we discuss the concept of failing forward, and how to encourage others through tough challenges. Learn how to help others save face and leverage situations for a teachable moments. We begin our book study mini series over Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age” in episode 151. Learn how to develop soft skills needed to have a positive impact, lead others well, and help point others to Christ.
CLICK PLAY TO LISTEN!
Mitigate Fault
Dale Carnegie’s last few chapters of his famous book end with advice on how to lead change without resistance and resentment. If you’re in a leadership role, you know how hard resistance and resentment can be, especially if change is occurring or when something in the company goes awry. FUN FACT: You cannot avoid change or people making mistakes, but you CAN learn how to grow from it. This week we talk about how to teach through failure, and easy tips to get the ball rolling.
PRO TIP: Have a plan of action when mistakes occur (see episode #166), and be ready to mitigate fault. Mitigating fault in this context means to lessen or make it less severe. We’ve got to learn that there is a gray area, and not just zero tolerance for every offense. Here are major points to focus on when you’re mitigating fault:
- Humiliation is NOT a good tactic…ever
- Let them save face
- Separate the person from the mistake
- Encourage dialogue
- Empathize and understand their side
- Assume the good in people
- Set them up for future success
- Focus on what wisdom was gained
Failure is going to happen, so be careful how you convey your message in response to failure. The term “failing forward” needs to go ahead and jump in your vocabulary along with team goals. Learn and leverage to maximize the growth from mistakes.
Don’t Be a Bad Boss
We’ve all experienced a bad boss. You may have even cringed just reading that sentence. We’ll never forget some of the lessons learned on how not to act when we’re in charge. Remember the whole premise of this book study is how to be a good steward of your leadership role, and servant leadership has been a constant throughout episodes 151-171. Be sure to check out our How to Win Friends Mini Series page to get specific tips and hear from great role models living this out daily.
We’ve got a couple of book recommendations to help with being a better boss or leader (whatever capacity that may be):
- How to Win Friends Book
- The 5 Appreciation Languages of the Workplace
- Love & Respect
- Forgive & Remember
Always be mindful of how you’re approaching someone. The words you say and how you say it can make or break the relationship. It will either build them up or shut them down, so choose wisely. You can build resilience by saving face and then give correction and feedback.
“A primary difference between ordinary and extraordinary people is how they perceive and respond to failure. a good leader can influence which camp we fall on.”
How to Win Friends & Influence People
Magnify Improvement
Don’t miss this final step! Yes, we can mitigate fault and avoid being a bad boss, but now we need to seek to consistently find ways to improve those around us. No, not like a fixer upper/let’s make people our projects, but more in the sense of Hebrews 10:24 where we spur on one another and encourage positive growth.
This means grow, not perfect. Every day you’re moving in a positive direction knowing that only Jesus Christ is perfect. Giving praise and encouragement is an easy way to make your environment more positive and inspire others to push themselves for the better. Everyone loves positive reinforcement whether they admit it or not (or their brain recognizes it or not).
Here are four simple steps to encourage those around you in a non-fluffly way (do your research on personality types so you know how they want the praise delivered):
- Deliver praise from your heart
- Deliver praise as soon as possible
- Make praise specific
- Praise people publicly
Encouragement Counts!
PRO TIP: encouragement is a vital step on how to teach through failure. In episode 167 (scroll back up to press play), one study we discuss shows that 58% of the people seldom/never receive praise, 76% seldom/never receive written praise, and 81% seldom/never receive praise in public. We have to do better as leaders. Here are some easy ways to do this in your environment (again, know your people and not embarrass them if they don’t like being called on a stage for public recognition):
- Face to face appreciation
- Shout out section in the weekly newsletter
- Handwritten letters into staff mailboxes
- Recognize people in your staff meetings
Brag on your people! The research shows that encouragement can foster psychological hardiness. Need gritty, more intrinsically motivated people? Encouragement has proven to go a long way. Most people are more motivated by positive feedback than they are material rewards, and the research shows that 81% of those people aren’t being reached like they should be. Here are some quick encouragement tips:
- Make healthy relationships a priority
- Practice encouragement daily
- Be inclusive and intentional
- Don’t let conflicts fester
- Have fun!
We hope you enjoy episode 167, “How to Teach Through Failure” and that you have practical, actionable steps you can take. Be sure to check out this entire How to Win Friends mini series about how to have a positive impact, lead others well, and help point others to Christ. You can do this! We’re here to help. Click the affiliate image below to get your copy of Dale Carnegies’ book.
