In episode 152, “Speaking Life Into Others”, we discuss the best ways to affirm the good that people are doing. We give specific examples on how and why the way we talk to others matters. We begin our book study mini series over Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age” in episode 151. Learn how to develop the soft skills needed to have a positive impact, lead others well, and help point others to Christ.
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No False Affirmations
We know lying isn’t good (hi, 9th commandment), so in case you hadn’t put tit together, NEVER lie when you’re giving a compliment or affirmations in any way. We hope all leaders out there don’t blatantly lie to those they’re guiding, but it can sneak up if you don’t train yourself otherwise.
Take coaching youth sports for example. If we are telling them “That’s a good pass.” when it’s not, how can we expect them to get any better. Same with those you lead at work. If you’re telling them, “That report you turned in was great.”, and it really wasn’t, you’ve just set both of yourselves up for failure. Yes, this can mean push back from those parents, or those who don’t have your vantage point, but trust us, lying to fix a temporary problem will only result in damage to be undone later on.
Good news! In this episode, we teach you ways speaking life into others can look for you. This whole episode is about affirming what is good, and we help you find ways to always see the good along with giving feedback that won’t damage the rapport you’ve built. As a rule of thumb, always convey positive points first (more details as you read and listen).
Speaking Life Into Others
As Christians, we are called to cheer each other on and encourage each other. If you’re in a leadership role (hint: it’s YOU), speaking life into others is a soft skill that you must have if you want them to experience any kind of success. Here’s a post about 3 ways you can start doing this now (it’s kid geared, but easily transferable to adults). This can be complimenting, encouraging, or inspiring others.
Again, our How to Win Friends mini series is not about manipulation, it’s about helping others reach their full potential. Have you ever had someone, at the exact right time, speak life in to you? Did someone give you a pep talk that encouraged you to to be brave in some way? Has someone given you words of inspiration that helped you get the right idea going? We all can think of an example. Now you have the chance to do this for others
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.”
Hebrews 10:24
In episode 152, we give specific examples (from raising kids, to building a business) on how this looks, ways to bring this up in conversation, and how to make sure what you say lands in the way you meant it. Be sure to scroll back up and press play to tune into the podcast episode.
Say It, Act It
As Christians, while we’re still on this side of Heaven, we go through the sanctification process (fancy way of saying becoming more like Christ). We should all be striving to become more Christlike as we walk through life. Each of us have roles to play, whether that’s mom or CEO, and we have been put in place to lead others well and point them back to Jesus. We all are playing an integral part in the hands and feet of Christ.
As you learn about speaking like into others, know that we give several tips and strategies on how this looks. One example we cover is the “compliment sandwich”. This is a simple tactic where you begin and end with positives, and in the middle, you give a reminder or tip for them to use moving forward.
“John, the way you organized the report was exactly how we needed it laid out. We greatly appreciate your attention to detail on this; and having those reports in the meeting was so helpful. A few mentioned that they would like some time to preview the information before the meeting. Can you brainstorm some ways we can streamline and expedite your reports, so that we can have the ability to preview the information before meetings? You are a creative asset, and we want to give you the opportunity to come up with a system that supports your needs. Please reach out with your ideas, and we are more than happy to work on accommodating those.
Compliment Sandwich Technique, EP 152
See what we did there? John walks away knowing he’s a creative asset, we want to support his needs, and we’re giving him the freedom to come up with something that helps him get his job done more quickly (with the goal of reducing late reports). A compliment sandwich can go a long way when used properly.
Every human has the innate desire to be known and understood. When you can tap into this, you can help others realize their full potential. The happy byproducts are a strengthen relationship, pointing others to their God-given talents, and encouraging them to use their giftings. Still not sure what to say? Read this verse, and before going to someone for constructive feedback, ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to say reflective of the fruits of the spirit?”
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
Galatians 5:22-23
We hope you enjoyed episode 152, “Speaking Life Into Others” and that you have practical, actionable steps you can take. Be sure to check out this entire How to Win Friends mini series about how to have a positive impact, lead others well, and help point others to Christ. You can do this! We’re here to help. Click the affiliate image below to get your copy of Dale Carnegies’ book.
Links From the Show
- How to Win Friends Mini Series
- How to Win Friends Book
- The 5 Love Languages (book)
- The 5 Love Languages Mini Series
- 21 Kicks Journals
- Get Out of Your Head Mini Series (episodes 84-91)
- Switch On Your Brain Mini Series (episodes 55-62)
- Atomic Habits Mini Series (episodes 103-111)
- Gangster Prayer Mini Series (episodes 131-140)
- Love & Respect Book
- Autumn Miles Ministry
