Switch On Your Brain: Episode 60, Kelly Smith

Brooke & Faren continue the mini series about the brain and unlocking the key to peak happiness, thinking, & health. In Switch On Your Brain episode 60, Kelly Smith, we talk about how to change mindset and behavior. Join us as we discuss our application points based off of “Switch On Your Brain” by Dr. Caroline Leaf along with how the principles of “Love & Logic” can be applied.

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Kelly Smith is a behavioral specialist who works for a school district in Dallas County. If you are in education in North Texas, you’ve likely seen her leading a professional development for your district. Her unique ability to teach through storytelling brings a bigger purpose of how to improve mindset and behavior.

How to Help Your Mindset & Behavior

Kelly gives several tips on how to help yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Next time you’ve reached a boiling point, try one (or more) of these tactics. Remember to adopt a trial-error-pivot mentality. Keep what works in this life phase and leave the rest.

• Eyes Closed, Deep Breaths: This helps with a visual reset and gets the brain a rush of oxygen.
• Positive Self-Talk: We believe what we tell ourselves. Train yourself to see the good.
• Perspective: This too shall pass, don’t miss the little moments. the days can feel long, but the years are short.
• Humor: Laughter is the best medicine! Plus it lowers cholesterol!
• 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Method: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things that you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing that’s positive.
• Practice Patience: We are harder on ourselves and we wouldn’t be like that with our best friend. God gives us so much patience, that we should extend it to ourselves too.
• Acts of Service: What better role model for servant leadership than Jesus? Do something nice for someone else and it’ll lift your spirits.
• Practice Gratitude: Get the focus off of yourself and onto helping someone else. This helps you feel grateful which helps you feel better.

Repetition really works. Think back to the Quantum Zeno Effect and how the more we practice healthy thinking and doing, the more it’ll be engrained into our brains.

How to Help Others with Their Mindset & Behavior

As you listen to the episode, you’ll see that many of the practical steps for helping yourself can also help others. Do your best to make sure you’re calm and collected before attempting to do the same for others. Practice common sense here. Make sure everyone is safe and intervene when necessary.

• Provide Good Choices: Giving someone two great choices is a win-win. They have the power to choose and you have the control over the options.
• Q-TIP: Quit taking it personally. Many times, upsetting behavior is misguided and you happen to get caught in the crossfire. Try to reduce as much collateral damage by keeping a level head.
• Separate the Behavior from the Person: Behaviors are NOT the Person. See them for who they are.
• Deescalate Before Problem Solving: You can’t rationalize with irrational. Help them get back into their right mind.
• Ask a question: If it’s meltdown time, ask ANY question. If the other person is in their right mind, then be sure to ask deeper questions. This gets out of their limbic system and into their prefrontal cortex.
• Find the Lesson: Let the consequences teach the lesson. What can we learn from this? How can we grow?

Please check out episode 60 to hear how these tactics are implemented through experience. For even more examples and an inside scoop, check out Kelly’s interview on our YouTube channel.

Guiding Others to Solve Their Own Problems

This works for ANYONE, not just children. Yay! This is a Love & Logic Technique that can be implemented once tempers are cooled and the prefrontal cortex is back online. When there is a behavior that we don’t want repeated, here are some steps you can take. Be sure to check out episode 59 to hear this in context with examples.

• Show Empathy by using this question: “What do you think you’re going to do about this?”
• Offer suggestions by using this question: “Would you like to hear what some other people have tried?”
• Give an idea: Start with a non-example posed as advice (it’ll get rejected), then propose the best option.
• Good luck & revisit on the agreement: Wish them luck and set a time to revisit the behavior and troubleshoot.

Thanks for joining us for our Switch On Your Brain episode 60, Kelly Smith, where we talk about how to change mindset and behavior. Next week’s interview is with a power couple who talks about how mindset is connected to physical health.

Links From the Show

• Vulnerability Mini Series (episodes 28-38)
• Love & Logic site