In episode 148, “How to Serve Your Spouse”, Faren interviews her husband, Jacob, about how to serve one another in love. Hear how all of the love languages come together to demonstrate commitment to the covenant of marriage. We begin our book study mini series over Gary Chapman’s, The 5 Love Languages in episode 141. Learn how to strengthen all of your relationships (not just with your significant other) with the secret to love that lasts.
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Move with Seasons
As you know, life ebbs and flows. We know that love soon turns from an emotion to an action, and staying committed to one another is vital to a successful, growing relationship. When certain seasons of life come your way, remember how to serve your spouse best; through love!
If you can actively make the choice to choose each other through the different phases of life, you are choosing to show them love in a way they understand. Faren and Jacob both describe different seasons where needs and desires were different, but by paying attention, having intentional conversation, and pursuing each other, they are able to grow alongside the bumpy parts of life.
If you’re still trying to figure out how to serve your spouse well through love languages, go through the trial and error approach. When in doubt, overlap love languages. If you’re still at a loss, always begin with gratitude towards that person. Say it out loud, consistently, in a way that brings meaning to them.
Bring Confidence
The Bible calls us to spur each other on, encourage each other, and take into consideration their personalities. One person may like a particular encouragement, and the other party not so much. This is where the consideration piece comes into play.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds“
Hebrews 10:24
Once you know yourselves, take each other into consideration. Again, you can make this part as much fun as you want! Explore new ways to show love to each other, try it out, and throw it away if a certain piece doesn’t help you feel loved. Practice different approaches, and continue the conversation about it.
The more you work together, have open conversation, and build that trust, the confidence in the relationship will continue to grow. Faren and Jacob both speak of how the confidence piece has made them feel throughout their relationship. Be sure to scroll back up and press play to learn how to serve your spouse.
Out-serve Each Other
How do you feel about friendly competition? Another great way to keep the love going strong is learning how to out-serve one another. Jacob speaks into what this means and what this looks like in episode 148, so be sure to tune in at the top of this page. He brings up the simple idea of “If you don’t mind doing it, do it for them.” All the bonus points if your spouse hates a certain task and you take it off their plate.
This means taking the time to be a good noticer, open dialogue, and a servant heart. Keep the focus on how Jesus constantly served others which all points back to His love He has for us. As Christians, we are call to love each other well, Christ is the greatest example to follow.
Pro Tip: Do NOT keep score. Love keeps no records, so that’s how it should be when out-serving your spouse. Do it because you want to show them you love them, not to win some game. Remember that y’all are a team that is moving towards a common goal. Find ways to complement each other and that will help you get out of ruts.
We hope you enjoyed episode 148, “Faren’s Husband” and that you have practical, actionable steps you can take. Be sure to check out this entire 5 Love Languages mini series about how to strengthen all of your relationships (not just your significant other) with the keys to love that lasts. You can do this! We’re here to help. Click the affiliate image below to get your copy of Gary Chapman’s book.
Links From the Show
5 Love Languages Resources
- The 5 Love Languages (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Children (book)
- The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers (book)
- The 5 Love Languages for Men (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Military (book)
- The 5 Appreciation Languages of the Workplace (book)
- The 5 Love Languages, Small Group book study
- A Teen’s Guide to The 5 Love Languages
