In episode 143, “How to Have Quality Time”, we discuss different ways to have quality time, and how to make time to be with the ones you love in a way that grows relationships. We begin our book study mini series over Gary Chapman’s, The 5 Love Languages in episode 141. Learn how to strengthen all of your relationships (not just with your significant other) with the secret to love that lasts.
CLICK PLAY TO LISTEN
Love Language: Quality Time
Before we go any further, quality time looks different for each person throughout seasons of life. Chapman refers to this often as “speaking a different dialect” within a love language. Think along the lines of American English versus England English versus Australian English. All groups speak the same language, but sometimes we have a hard time understanding each other. How does this translate to love languages?
If you are both sitting on the couch with a show on and both of y’all are playing on phones, does that count as quality time? It could for some, but for others, it may seem like the other party is disengaged. Communication is vital. Have clear, direct conversations where you have the freedom to tell each other what qualifies as extra time. You may be surprised at the results.
Quality Time Tips
After deciding what quality time looks like for all parties involved, it’s time to be intentional with the details on how this will happen. It’s important to remember to check in and recalibrate as seasons pass. Life changes, busy schedules, or preferences can alter. Understanding where both of you stand throughout life is a great way to make sure y’all are maximizing quality time.
Still looking for ideas? Here are some of many that could work for you. Friendly reminder, quality time can look like talking, doing, or being. Get creative, and keep checking in with each other. Discuss what you like and want to tweak for optimal time together:
- dates nights
- watching a show
- playing games
- being active together
- coworking during busy seasons
- deeper conversations
- doing a project together
In episode 143, we dive into more ideas on how to have quality time with the people you love. Be sure to scroll back up and press play to hear how we tackle the quality time aspect in different seasons of life. Hint: Get to the deeper parts of conversations by skipping to the 5th or 6th question you would ask them.
Developing Quality Time Skills
Not so much the talker? No problem, we’ve got your back. The point is to connect with the person you love, so if you truly care about them, make an effort to show them love. If you’re not sure what to say when you finally get the chance for quality time (cue the newborn baby stage, in season sports stage, etc…), keep a running list of questions you’ve been wanting/meaning to ask. There are even some fun conversation cards that could be used on car drives or around the dinner table. Here are a couple more quick tips:
- eliminate distractions
- maintain eye contact
- be vulnerable
- reciprocate in the conversation
- physically turn towards them
If quality time is doing something together, try this exercise. Each of you make a list of the things you enjoy doing, and then see how they match up. Start with the ones you have in common and then begin alternating. Be willing to partake in something they enjoy (obviously within reason), and remember that you’re doing this because you want them to feel loved. Now you have plenty of quality time ideas!
If you’re wanting to improve your relationships in this particular love language, ask yourself, “What in this relationship detracts from spending quality time?” If you are wanting this relationship to feel more loving or improve, make it a priority. You may be surprised at how the other person responds!
We hope you enjoyed episode 143, “How to Have Quality Time” and that you have practical, actionable steps you can take. Be sure to check out this entire 5 Love Languages mini series about how to strengthen all of your relationships (not just your significant other) with the keys to love that lasts. You can do this! We’re here to help. Click the affiliate image below to get your copy of Gary Chapman’s book.
Links From the Show
- The 5 Love Languages (book)
- The 5 Love Languages Mini Series
- 21 Kicks Journals
- Dream Big Mini Series: Ep 92-100
- Conversation Cards
5 Love Languages Resources
- The 5 Love Languages (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Children (book)
- The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers (book)
- The 5 Love Languages for Men (book)
- The 5 Love Languages of Military (book)
- The 5 Appreciation Languages of the Workplace (book)
- The 5 Love Languages, Small Group book study
- A Teen’s Guide to The 5 Love Languages
