Let’s face it. We all have this common humanity experience here on Earth: Sometimes we feel like an outsider. This feeling can arise from a situation that happened, or maybe just being different than the people you’re around. If feeling like an outcast happens with worldly things, then it can certainly creep into our spiritual lives if we let it. This is why I’m giving you 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life. Good, news, Ponyboy, you can stay golden when you keep this episode in mind to help yourself avoid these mistakes.
CLICK PLAY TO LISTEN: EP 7
We’re a few episodes into our Identity Crisis mini series, where we’re focusing on our identity in Christ as believers. We’ve covered almost half of the Busy Christian Mom Credo, and today’s identity topic is belonging. Here’s the BCM Credo in case you’re just now hopping on and are like, “Brooke, what the heck are we even talking about?” Glad you asked.
Best advice: Head to episode 2 and binge listen for everything in the Identity Crisis mini series you may have missed, and then join us back here. As I read the BCM Credo, think back to the previous episodes and reflect on how this lands differently now that you’ve gone deeper into these identity markers. Here’s the BCM Credo:
I am the daughter of the King. I am chosen, forgiven, redeemed. I am loved and I belong. I am bold, brave, and strong. I am seen. I’m accepted. I am able. I’m protected. Through Him I can do anything. Because I’m the daughter of the King.
Busy Christian Mom Credo, Brooke Collier
My fellow humans, we are designed to feel the need to belong. We are meant to be a part of something that’s bigger than one individual. It’s engrained into our DNA, and it’s no surprise who did that…God did!
There is a deep sense in your being that draws you to finding a place where you feel seen, heard, understood, and loved. Hint: There is only one group of people to ever exist that has a leader who unconditionally loves, shows mercy, and gives grace. Only one. Followers of Jesus. Don’t make these 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life.
Mistake #1: Let the World Tell You Where You Belong
Mistake #1 of the 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life: letting the world tell you where you belong. When we cross the line of faith and decide to follow God, we come under His leadership and belong to Him.
The amazing byproduct is that once you become a Christian, you join a group of people who have had the same heart change. Your following Christ brings you together as one big family that’s dispersed worldwide. You automatically have a built in network of people who know God’s love and choose to follow Him. You are no longer alone, you belong in the arms of God, under His guidance, authority, and protection.
Fitting in is hard in this world. Sometimes the more you try the more you fail. You may feel pressured to do things you usually wouldn’t do, but here you are doing it so you can “fit in”. Is it wear that thing? Laugh at that joke? Ignore that person? This sounds like stuff you walk through your preteen with, but dang, I know some of us need to hear it again as grown ups.
If you’ve struggled with the whole fitting in thing, know that once you choose to follow Christ, you belong in His community. You don’t have to worry about what the world says you need to do in order to belong.
Scripture to Back This Up:
Psalm 100:3 says, “Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.” There are many passages that talk about how the Lord is the good shepherd and we are His sheep. When you follow Christ, you become a part of the flock. He is leading you, protecting you, and providing for you. You have the shared experience of the other sheep in the family. You belong.
John 1:12 says, “But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” The right, the privilege, the honor of joining in on God’s family. Just like with the sheep, there is scripture to back up how we are God’s children (for more, tune into episode 2). A sheep in need of a shepherd. A spiritual orphan in need of a father. He welcomes us with open arms into His family. What a gift, and it’s FREE!
Romans 1:6 says, “And you are included among those Gentiles who have been called to belong to Jesus Christ.” Romans 12:5 says, “so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” Romans 15:7 says, “Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.” Jesus invited and included every type of person who chose to follow Christ. No matter the background, if you want to belong in the body of believers, you can. Later in the books of Galatians and Ephesians, it says something similar.
Galatians 3:28 says, “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:19-22 says, “So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit.”
You belong! There are so many verses that back this point up. Once you embrace the identity God gave you through the lens of belonging, you’ll begin to see it all over scripture as you read on your own.
Mistake #2: Let Your Past Define You
Mistake #2 of the 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life: letting your past define you. The Bible is full of outsiders, misfits, and people who were excluded, and didn’t feel like they belonged anywhere. God radically flipped the script on the worldview of what an outsider is, and gives us the perspective shift of belonging to Him in this crazy, busy world.
Speaking of outsiders, let’s go back to about 1400 BC. Lady of the night, Rahab, has quite the interesting story. A quick glance at the Bible timeline:
- Adam and Eve, and the fall of man
- Noah’s Ark and Earth 2.0
- Joseph, that crazy cool coat, and his jealous brothers
- Moses and the Red Sea, “Let my people go!”
- Moses passes the leadership role to Joshua
We’re right at the part where Joshua is leading the Israelites to go and defeat Jericho. The one where they march around the city, holler a ton, and the walls come tumbling down.Reading Joshua chapters 1-6 will give you a ton of context, so if you are looking for what to read in your Bible today, head to the book of Joshua.
The Backstory
Joshua sends two spies to go scope out the Jericho and report back. As the spies are doing all their spy stuff, they run into Rahab, the harlot. Rahab’s house was on the outskirts of town, and due to her occupation, she was definitely feeling like an outsider. Someone just happens to see the spies and Rahab crossing paths, so they go tattle-tell to the king.
As any king would, he’s like, “Ah, no way, bring those two dudes here and I’ll give something to go tell Joshua about!” (paraphrase of course, again, read the text for yourself). So off the guards went to Rahab’s love shack. Rahab hid the spies and was all, “Yo, calm down, guards. I saw them earlier, and they left town, so if you hurry, I bet you can catch them.” Meanwhile, the spies are up on the roof playing a life or death version of hide and seek.
- Rahab knows the spies’ faith in God and wants to be spared in the defeat of Jericho
- The spies agree and come up with a super secret signal to make sure she and her family stays safe during the whole wall crumbling event
- The Israelites defeat Jericho while sparing Rahab’s family
- They all do a happy dance
Here’s my favorite verse in Rahab’s story as we focus on our identity in belonging once you’re a believer:
“So Joshua spared Rahab the prostitute and her relatives who were with her in the house, because she had hidden the spies Joshua sent to Jericho. And she lives among the Israelites to this day.”
Joshua 6:25
“And she lived among the Israelites to this day.” Among, not on the outskirts. Can you imagine how Rahab must have felt from going to her past reputation to belonging with God’s children? They welcomed her in, and she immediately went from being excluded to being included.
God does this for us! We are no longer outcasts doomed to hell. We are automatically submerged into an established family and treated as such in God’s eyes. Fun fact: God continues to bless Rahab after all this:
- Rahab gives birth to Boaz
- Boaz marries Ruth
- Ruth births Obed, father of Jesse
- Jesse is the father of King David
- Jesus was born of King David’s line
What?! Rahab even gets a shout out in the lineage of Jesus in the New Testament. Blessings upon blessing for Rahab. Her story of outsider to insider is a testament of God’s kindness, mercy, and love. If Rahab were to keep looking back at her past she could make the mistake of thinking she didn’t belong in God’s community. God doesn’t want us to get stuck thinking we aren’t worthy of His love, but when we cross the line of faith, we belong!
Mistake #3: Let Your Doubts Hold You Back
Mistake #3 of the 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life: letting your doubts hold you back from belonging. No matter what the world says you are or your ugly past trying to haunt you, you can rest knowing that God wants you! You belong!
Bonus: God designed you on purpose, for a purpose. You have been gifted with specific passions and talents that can help point people to Christ. This is where our part comes into play as believers already in the family. Here are a couple of verses that show us what we should be doing for others:
Scripture to Back This Up:
1 Peter 2:9 says, “…for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.”
Matthew 28:19 says, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”
Galatians 6:10 says, “Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.”
- Show others the goodness of God
- Make disciples of all nations
- Do good to everyone, especially other believers
Let’s take a minute and read a passage of scripture from 1 Corinthians 12:12-17. If you drifted off, come back, because this may be the only moment that your eyes/ears get the word of God in your brain today.
If you’re reading along at home, or decide to look this up later, the title to this section is called: “One Body, Many Parts.” You may have heard it, so tune in and see if you can gain some new insight with this reading of the text:
12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[a] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.[b] 14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? 18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you. 22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. 27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.
1 Corinthians 12:12-17, One Body Many Parts
You have a specific, God-given purpose. Yes do good, love others well, point people to Jesus, and the way we do that varies based on our passions and talents. God is nice enough to create a community of believers that feels a sense of belonging. Now, let’s use those talents, whatever they may be, to showcase all the great things God has done for us. One way to do that is help others feel like they belong, welcoming them in with open arms.
Just like with any good team, everyone has a role to play. Just thinking of my life group alone fills me with a million examples. We currently have seven couples in our crew and we meet regularly to encourage and stretch one another. Here are a few examples of just the girls in the group and random skill sets that have come in handy when working for the Lord:
- Faren: knack for asking challenging questions, creative craft queen
- Lauren: organizational leadership, excellent cookie maker
- Jacqueline: service project creator, amazing shopper
- Meredith: nudge that’s needed to get you to stop thinking and start doing
- Katie: critical thinking/logical brain
- Kim: huge heart/empath queen
These women in my home group push me to be my best self, chasing after God, and they will call me out if they see it’s not happening. Each of these girls is different, bringing different strengths together. It’s like the Power Rangers, alone they’re still awesome, but together, it’s a united team that exponentially. They do not doubt the abilities God has given them. We proclaim it over each other, and spur each other on to grow. This is a mirco example making a macro impact. The ripple effect is real with Biblical community and belonging.
Mistake #4: Let Your Excuses Steal Your Time
Oh this is a tough one. Mistake 4 of the 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life: letting your excuses steal your time. I get it. I’m busy, and you’re busy, so what are we going to do about it? First, focus in on the first three mistakes, and remember that you truly belong in the family of God. It’s like with siblings, you have built in best friends! When you’re a believer, you’ve got built in best friends. Thanks, God!
Do not let your busyness keep you from finding Biblical community to meet with on a regular basis. Have nobody? Not one Christian friend? Here’s where to start:
- Pray and ask God to give you these people: “God, I know you want me to hav good, Christian friends who help me grow. Please bring these people into my life, and make it obvious so I don’t miss it!”
- Open your eyes, ears, and heart, and pay attention so you don’t miss it when God is nudging you.
- Find a church you like, and start regularly going. Ask how you can get plugged in, and ask about their home group situation.
- Take a leap of faith. You’ve prayed for these people, God will point you in the direction, you just need to say yes, and dive in. Pray pray pray.
Every single person I know who is in a healthy, regularly meeting home group, loves it, wants it, and sees the benefits of it. Make it a priority. Schedule times to meet and show up, even if you’re tired and have a million things to do. Don’t let your busyness get in the way of meeting with people who will grow and stretch you.
Podcast Recap
You did it! You’ve gotten my 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life. I have gone through the trouble of doing these four mistakes and learned from it so you don’t have to go through them! When you let these mistakes hold you back, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to fully embrace the belonging God has for you. Here’s a quick recap of the 4 mistakes that keep you feeling like and outsider in your spiritual life:
- Mistake #1: Let the World Tell You Where You Belong
- Mistake #2: Let Your Past Define You
- Mistake #3: Let Your Doubts Hold You Back
- Mistake #4: Let Your Excuses Steal Your Time
Scripture Recap
- Psalm 100:3
- John 1:12
- Romans 1:6
- Romans 12:5
- Romans 15:7
- Galatians 3:28
- Ephesians 2:19-22
- Joshua chapters 1-6
- 1 Peter 2:9
- Matthew 28:19
- Galatians 6:10
- 1 Corinthians 12:12-17
I am the daughter of the King. I am chosen, forgiven, redeemed. I am loved and I belong. I am bold, brave, and strong. I am seen. I’m accepted. I am able. I’m protected. Through Him I can do anything. Because I’m the daughter of the King.
Busy Christian Mom Credo, Brooke Collier
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