We continue the mini series on “The Path Between Us” by Suzanne Stabile. In episode 71, “Enneagram 2s, 3s, & 4s Body, Food, & People”, we interview Whitney Russell Stabile on Enneagram 2s, 3s, & 4s and their relationships with food and body. We also throw in bonus tips on how to grow your relationships.
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This is a three part interview that is broken up into the Enneagram triads: 8, 9, 1 (the gut triad), 2, 3, 4 (the heart triad), & 5, 6, 7 (the head triad). Whitney’s interview is so saturated with wisdom, we’ve chunked it into three, more digestable episodes (#70, #71, & #72).
Whitney Russell Stabile is the founder and owner of Brave Haven Counseling based in Richardson, Texas. She’s a Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor (LPC-S) and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist-Supervisor (CEDS-S). Bonus: she’s our fellow Austin College Soccer teammate! Go Roos!
2s (The Helper): Body, Food, & Relationships
Body & Food: 2s have big feelings and are externally focused. This means that they act as sponges, soaking in everyone’s feelings as well as navigating their own. When it comes to body image, 2s can manipulate their bodies in order to feel love from someone in a certain way. A reminder for 2s: you body is not the only way you’re attractive! You can love your body no matter what it looks like. PRO TIP: watch out for numbing with food.
Relationship Tips: 2s can struggle with co-dependency and rely on others to know and learn about themselves. 2s will benefit from healthy boundaries and knowing that other’s feelings don’t need to be their own. If you have a relationship with a 2, allow them to say no to you. It’s hard for a 2 to enforce the “no”, and reenforcing the “no” is harder (so hold the boundary and respect the n). 2s need to know having healthy boundaries is helping others know how to love you. PRO TIP: 2s need self care. Self care is productive.
3s (The Performer): Body, Food, & Relationships
Body & Food: 3s can walk into a room, take in the people there, and see others’ feelings. Then, they use the feelings as information to know how to work about the room. 3s push aside those feelings and then do what needs to be done. They’ll feel and set feeling aside.
Relationship Tips: Encourage 3s to be their authentic self in some part of their world; be genuine somewhere. Having pockets of authenticity in each people group they are a part of can be beneficial for all parties involved. When accomplishments are attained, encourage 3s to stop and reflect on the journey, and be in the moment. They are quick to move onto the next goal, so being present in the moment of success will improve life for a 3.
4s (The Romantic): Body, Food, & Relationships
Body & Food: 4s have a lot of feelings. In fact, 4s experience more feelings in a day that most do in a week. 4s have a push/pull relationship with food (consuming all the food, then restricting the food). Balance is the key to this yo-yo trend. Fill the search for the “longing feeling” with something healthy, not just food. PRO TIP: food can truly be just fuel, not necessarily be an experience every single meal.
Relationship Tips: 4s can feel the full range of emotions in a matter of minutes, so knowing that your feelings aren’t always friends will be helpful. 4s need to understand that their feelings don’t have to rule them, and they can choose to separate from those feelings. PRO TIP: when wanting to help a 4, ask “Tell me what you want and I’ll let you know if I can do that.” Allow the 4 to feel their feelings, and DO NOT INVALIDATE what they tell you.
Thanks for listening to episode 71, “Enneagram 2s, 3s, & 4s Body, Food, & People” This is part one of three of the interview with Whitney Russell Stabile. Be sure to check out all three parts of this interview in episodes 70, 71, & 72.
